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Friday, October 12, 2001

I’m Wayne calling from the Chronicle. Do you like knowledge?

"'My alarm clock didn't go off,' I offer as an excuse for my afternoon tardiness. Brian gives me my own personal cubicle. He informs me that none of the three people I trained with showed up for work. 'They're weak,' he says. No, they're smart. I'm the sole survivor, and I'm only here to cause trouble. 'You've got to promise me you'll stick with this for at least two weeks,' Brian pleads. Little does he realize that approximately midway through my shift I will abruptly stand up, scream, and run out of the building."

—San Francisco Bay Guardian. Harmon Leon masquerades as telemarketer Wayne Francis, trying to sell the San Francisco Chronicle by means of unorthodox dialogue. "I once worked for three days as a telemarketer selling some sort of plastic container. The low point came when an old man said he couldn't buy the plastic container because he was probably going to die soon. I looked at my list of rebuttals and told him it would make a perfect gift for his children."'

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