The Lexicographer's Rules

It looks like my book has finally been released. Amazon has it for sale, anyway, and promises delivery in 24 hours rather than in two or three weeks (which is what it says when a book is pending but not yet released).

One of the many tasks required to put a book together is designing the cover. This is usually a task in which the author has little or no role. I was fortunate that the editors at McGraw-Hill did give me a bit of input.

However, for the past couple of weeks, due to foul-ups beyond my control, the wrong cover has been on display at Amazon. The correct cover looks like this:

It’s not bad, as such things go. Al pointed out to me that it would be better if the fellow’s arm was raised and he’s right. It would be like he was serenading the dictionary. I wasn’t able to make that change but I did have them change one thing. Here’s a detail from the first version of the current cover.

Rockstar has a microphone in his pocket.

I’m pretty happy with the cover as it is. However, the wrong cover that was up on Amazon looks like this:

It’s hideously ugly and clichéd. Using the headwords as design elements is a lazy artist’s trick. I can show you 15 books with covers like that and they all suck, but they keep appearing because they take ten minutes to design.

And that starburst! For fuck’s sake, there are Quark extensions that will do beautiful starbursts instead of that wretched mess that looks like the toupee Calvin will wear when he and Hobbes get old.

Also, the subhead is weird. It seems like that verb just shouldn’t be conjugated that way, like it should be “the slang, jargon, and lingo that is….” Yet, there are three mass nouns there, all using the verb “to be” together, so it also seems like it should be “are.” But “the lingo that are” sounds wrong. It’s clearly one of those “rewrite it until the issue disappears” situations, which is what they did for the new cover (although one version had the word “hecka” as an adjective when it is by far and away more common as an adverb).

Annie on behalf of Maud points us to the site regender, which changes the gender pronouns on any web page. This is going to cause a lot of confusion at FictionMania.

I fear the stupidity of my fellow New Yorkers more than I fear a dirty bomb, another plane rammed into a building, or anything like that.

More than half of the survey’s respondents (53 percent) said that if they had to flee New York after a disaster, they would drive or take taxis. The report noted, however, that streets would likely be choked with traffic. Fifteen percent said they would ignore any orders to evacuate.

Not in the report:

—When their food and water supplies run low, 38% will order more from Fresh Direct. 18% will call the corner Chinese joint for more General Tsao’s chicken.

—If electricity fails, 32% will run an extension cord from a neighbor’s house. 62% will check the NYC government web site for government announcements about power restoration.

—If they run out of money, 43% will keep trying ATMs until they find one that works. 7% will steal extra cash from the drug dealers down the street. 19% are stockpiling cartons of cigarettes to use as currency.

I have enough canned goods, dry food, and water to last me a week. If the Warriors can make it from the Bronx to Coney Island overnight while pursued by gangs of angry New Yorkers, I figure a week is plenty of time for me get out of New York City and deep into Pennsylvania.

As part of the fund-raising drive for the fantastic NPR affiliate KPBS in San Diego, A Way With Words cohost and author Martha Barnette is auctioning off a chance to challenge her at Scrabble. Only 34 hours left in the bidding!

Big secret: you can totally kick her ass. She’s gonna spend forever doing things like trying to remember a cool word with four U’s in it while you’re racking up bingo after bingo. : )

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Mark Peters has collected a few unusual car-related words for Grist magazine, including a couple of terms from Double-Tongued, which has an automotive category.