The Lexicographer's Rules

Newspapers make me register if I want to read their content. Fine. I do so—a lot. My word-hunting means I look at hundreds of articles from hundreds of newspapers around the world every day.

I use real sign-up information. I figure I’m reading their news, they can find out where I live. Very little spam results. The spam that does is easily traceable to specific newspapers, since I use a unique email address for each sign-up. I can block it if I need to.

A lot of newspapers use canned or corporate sign-up pages. Many, many of them have this question:

How dumb is it that there are no “I read it on the Internet” options?

State bill proposes Christianity be Missouri’s official religion.

As I noted previously, my home state is overrun with crazies and nutjobs. Where’s that good country sense Mule-Staters used to be known for?

If I were still in Missouri, for every office in every state election I’d write in Aku Ankka like the Finnish do.

(Props to Maud for the link.)

(Source Link)

Mark Liberman at LanguageLog has a near-perfect demonstration of how easy it is to doomsay any polling data by choosing a negative perspective—and also how that perspective is further corrupted as the story is written and rewritten by various media. (Source Link)

Any movie advertised with an actor peering over the top of sunglasses is bound to be one of the worst films you’ve ever seen. This rule holds doubly true if such an image appears on the DVD or videocassette cover. It holds three-quarters true if the actor is merely wearing, but not peering over, the Raybans (because they are inevitably Raybans, which are often photoshopped on the face).

The following documents are easy to download, easy to open, easy to fill out, easy to print, and easy to understand. If executed at the same time, they’ll also give the United States its first female president. I’m a dope. Don’t vote for me for president.

Step one. Donald H. Rumsfeld resignation letter.

Step two. Richard B. Cheney resignation letter.

Step three. George W. Bush resignation letter.

(I modeled them on Richard Nixon’s resignation letter.)