The Lexicographer's Rules

"Saturday is a great day to get your bomb shelter in order. As my wife and I try to evacuate all the junk that has piled up there since the last time we feared a war (it wasn't that long ago, just a year back, when the intifada broke out), my small daughter is busy making up the list of friends she wants to invite to her birthday party. A weighty question: should she invite Tali, who didn't invite her to her birthday? We discuss the problem, trying to mobilise all the gravity it deserves, just so that we can at least keep up an appearance of routine."

—Guardian. In his hometown of Jerusalem, David Grossman keeps a diary during a week in which his attempts to write a story and current events intertwine. "I keep reading hostile remarks about Israel in the European press, even accusations that Israel is responsible for the world's current state. It infuriates me to see how eagerly some elements use Israel as a scapegoat. As if Israel is the one, simple, almost exclusive reason that 'justifies' the terrorism and hatred now targeted against the west. It is also astounding that Israel was not invited to participate in the anti-terrorism coalition, while Syria and Iran were."'

"Handcuffing of passengers during flights should become mandatory. Flight attendants would spoon feed passengers and assit them with bowl movements in their seat. Any passenger who complains must be immediately reported to law enforcement authorities."

—The Iranian. One of six satirical ideas for preventing airline terrorism.

"This shift in values has also translated into a historic shift among the public, leading millions of Americans who previously backed Republican or Democrat policies to rethink their priorities as well as which party to support. Non-partisanship, not bipartisanship, is a top priority for Americans."

—Roll Call. America's dominant political parties are facing "dealignment" as polls report that the number of undecided voters has grown rapidly, the result of a fundamental rethinking of their beliefs.'

ÒBecause I don't want to live my life in fear, coming to work scared, worrying if some letter I handle has some kind of poisonous dust on it. I don't want to live in that type of environment, giving in to paranoia. At least that's how I feel right now. But tomorrow I might be telling you something different because, now that we're talking, I'm thinking about my kids and telling myself maybe I owe it to them to be more cautious.Ó"

—Boston Herald. Jeff Smith, a postman, was given gloves to wear as he delivers mail on his daily route.'

"Everyone's buying flags? Journalists who criticize Bush have been fired? The 'Star Spangled Banner' is the top song? Arab-looking people are being turned away from airport boarding gates? I feel like going home immediately so I'm not caught outside the walls of Fortress America. I feel like staying put so I don't have to get on a plane."

—ABC. Americans living and working abroad describe their experiences handling the drastic changes in American mood, mentality and image. "This morning I arrived at the offices of the newspaper where I work in Prague to find a workman blocking my way. He was hunched over a welding tool that was throwing off a shower of sparks. My first thought was: My God, that man isn't wearing safety glasses. My second thought was: My God, where did that giant steel door come from?"'