The Lexicographer's Rules

"Declaring that he 'heals up pretty damn good,' a 58-year-old Charleston man refused medical attention after drunkenly careening Friday afternoon into the front of the Kanawha County Public Library."

—Charleston Gazette. "He acknowledged he was drunk, but said he confines his drinking to his apartment."'

"Remember last autumn, when New Yorkers felt omnipotent? We had the Subway Series, a frothy, yeasty Dow, frilly, feminine fashions, serious steaks at restaurants, a Mayor who was boldly stepping out with his mistress (how French!). We were playing handball inside our lofts, the better half of Hollywood was relocating to Tribeca, women in their mid-40's were popping out babies, and the political climate was about to be dominatrixed by the smooth, competent, sexlessly reassuring Gore Girls. Well, this fall already feels like a bracing cold shower."

—New York Observer. Our fluctuating fortune, candidly expressed with new shoes and a disregard for last year's presuppositions and fantasies, is still further out of our control. "Rudy Giuliani isn't going to take care of us anymore; fashions have turned dark, bohemian, ugly; last year's toys seem malevolent (S.U.V.'s); suddenly David Dinkins is popping up everywhere, rebuttoning those double-breasted suits he wore like armor as the city despaired in the early 1990's. The less said about the Hamptons, summer 2001, the better; ditto for the Mayoral primary."'

"It had no date, no reference to anything suspicious. There were so many things that stood out indicating a scam."

—New York Times. Frank Flynn, a professor of organizational behavior at the Columbia University business school, sent out 240 fake letters to upscale Manhattan restaurants, complaining of food poisoning. The bogus letters were part of a study to determine how businesses respond to consumer complaints. Two letters of apology have been sent to the restaurants concerned, but that wasn't necessary for some restarateurs to smell something fishy. Jean-Claude Baker, the owner of Chez Josephine, figured it out: "I am an old fox," Mr. Baker explained in a thick French accent.'

"But why is he so fixed on England? Why not apply for asylum in France? Samir likes the French but like so many at the camp, he believes in an almost mythical sense of British tolerance. He also has contacts in Britain and he speaks the language. But there are other reasons too. His university teachers had studied in the UK during the 1960s and '70s and spoke highly of it. Also, as a Kurd, he believes the UK's show of force against Baghdad bodes well for him. The authorities will be more sympathetic to his plight."

—BBC. Samir, like thousands of others, is a refugee seeking asylum in the United Kingdom, even if it means crossing borders illegally and risking death.'