The Lexicographer's Rules

"This is Radha Basu, General Manager of Hewlett Packard. She was sent to India to open their Bangalore office. She was telling me that all the officials wanted to know was: what is this thing called software that you are sending to the earth station. They kept telling her that they wanted a hard copy, that there were export regulations, so she just couldn't export something that was thin air! It had to be of a solid form. They were forced to put it all on diskettes, make back-ups, and export it physically so the Intelligence Bureau could record it. The guys at the other endÑin the USÑkept wondering why Radha was sending these things. They stacked all of it in the HP office there, calling the room Radha's warehouse."

—Tehelka. Chiddanand ÒChidduÓ Rajghatta is the author of The Horse That Flew: How India's Silicon Gurus Spread Their Wings.

"I took it to the Barclays Bank, where I used to deposit my little cheques of five and ten pounds that I got from the Carribean service of the BBC. When I gave it to the clerk sitting behind the counter, he looked at it, and then he stood up and he shook my hand."

—Tehelka. Tarun Tejpal relates bits of the career and history of writer V.S. Naipul. "And with that Sir Vidiadhar said no more. His face became marmoreally still, even as his eyes welled up and began to close. Ever alert, Nadira jumped up and rushed to him, and buried his face in her arms. As she crooned calmingly, the rest of us silently calculated the incalculable price of the writerly life. We also took stock, as one tends to in his presence, of an incredible journey."'

"At this point some National Guardsmen brought in a body bag and laid it on the stretcher. The female doctor unzipped it and inspected the contents. 'Holy mother of God,' she said, and she turned away. In the bag was a left leg and part of a pelvis, to which a penis was still attached. The leg itself hardly seemed injured, but the pelvic stump was beefy red and broken intestines were hanging out of it. A pants pocket was partially covering the pelvis and was emptied of change; this pocket was put in a separate bag. A policeman said that part of the victim's body had been brought in earlier, along with a cell phone."

—New York Times.

"'Just like an execution, everyone is entitled to a last meal,' Hopkins told Felix Trinidad Wednesday inside Madison Square Garden. 'Some want steak. Some want lobster. I've got something special for you. I had to ask some of my Spanish friends in Philadelphia.' Hopkins threw a bag of rice on the table in front of Trinidad. He followed with a bag of beans. He looked at the 20 taunting Trinidad fanatics who promoter Don King had invited into the press conference and said, 'I've got more bags in the car for you.' When they cursed him, Hopkins told them hatred was the province of the uneducated. He told them to look up Armageddon in the dictionary. At least he didn't stamp on the Puerto Rican flag as he had earlier on the press tourÑa tour Hopkins pronounced a KO victory."

—Hartford Courant. "Now here's the frightening part. Except for the statue of the late, great Sugar Ray Robinson that will be awarded to the winner, Bernard Hopkins was the most likeable, most compelling figure at an event to promote the 12-round bout for the undisputed middleweight championship."'

"A boy named Vasylko makes a journey into a forest that is plagued by evil. The young tyke is horrified to discover that hospitals and schools in the forest are crippled, while needy animals can barely make a living. Eventually he finds the source of the discontent: Zahrebun, a wicked warlock, has stolen the forestÕs budget and bewitched all animals so that they stop paying taxes."

—Kyiv Post. The Ukrainian State Tax Administration is publishing a book for six-year-olds and distributing it to every elementary school in order to instill an ethos against tax-dodging. Only 60 percent of Ukranian taxpayers pay voluntarily.