The Lexicographer's Rules

"Now we have a real crisis. For the time being, there is no real left and right in America, just the loud and the quiet."

—San Francisco Chronicle. When even Rush Limbaugh sounds reasonable, something unusual is happening, writes Rob Morse. "Limbaugh said that before we returned to anything like normal, we'd have to face the reality that we've lived in luxury for a long time, a statement that any left-winger would agree with. Among those luxuries, Limbaugh said, was the 'luxury of creating our own stresses and crises.' Ditto, says this flag-waving liberal."'

"En route, I heard not one, but two original mixes of songs (Jewel's 'Hands' and Neil Diamond's 'Coming to America') peppered with sound bites of both President Bush's crisis address to the country, and the terrified reactions of spectators watching the planes crash into the towers, and their subsequent collapse. 'Produced by our very own an exclusive,' plugs the DJ in his Serious Voice. Througout this entire ordeal, not once have I heard the American Red Cross call for U.S. citizens to contribute an official soundtrack."

—Altrok. "These people could be donating blood, manpower, money, supplies, any number of significant, desperately needed items to aid the relief effort. Instead, these patriots choose to show their support by spotlighting their 'mad skillz' by adding a rhythm section to a nation's sorrow and horror. See? They're doing their part, and getting free publicity too! Aren't they phat?"'

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"When the war began, a Serb girl and her family left Sarajevo on one of the flights evacuating people out of the city. She left her Muslim boyfriend behind. But she couldn't stand to be away from him, so she came back to Sarajevo to see him. At another bridge that then was on the frontline, the Serb soldiers inspected her bag of gifts that she'd brought for her boyfriend. It was all foodÑmostly meat and other things that were almost impossible to get in wartime Sarajevo. But what the soldiers didn't find was the machine gun she'd brought with her. She crossed into the city, found her boyfriend and stayed. She joined the Bosnian Army, and for about two months they were very happy. Tragically, they died together in a firefight near the Brotherhood and Unity Bridge, which has since been re-named after their story."

—Central European Review. Sarajevan Zijad Jusufovic is a licensed private tour guide of the war ruins of Bosnia-Hercegovina.

"My five year old saw the live coverage of the second plane crashing into the WTC. He immediately went and found his Spiderman t-shirt and told me that he and Gavin would not be at school when I picked them up because they were going with the Power Rangers to save the world. He urgently wanted to get to school to call a meeting with Gavin and Tanner, his five-year-old compadres, to decide what to doÑa typical reaction from a boy who lives and breathes bad guys versus good guys. People are always talking about how bad television is for children and they seldom talk about how bad their schools are for children. Yet, I would rather be on a highjacked airplane with someone inoculated by Power Rangers than someone who believes the message of every school institution: that weapons are bad and that the authorities and the government will solve all problems and protect you."

—Dynamist. "There were also stories in Education Week's coverage about 'lessons' schoolchildren could learn from the tragedy. Reported lessons include geography, lessons about letter writing, and lessons about making civic contributions to our nation. Sadly, I have yet to see any newspaper or school specialist call for lessons about liberty, about constitutional guarantees, about how these terrorist acts will test fundamental values of freedom versus safety. Schools will not ask schoolchildren to think about how it came to be that only the terrorists had weapons while flight crews, pilots, and ordinary citizens did not."'

"Early yesterday morning, just as dawn was breaking over the scene of wreckage and death, a group of firefighters on a break from the grim routine of searching the rubble was seen in the Brooks Brothers store in 1 Liberty Plaza, joking and trying on coats and top hats."

—New York Times. "A police command center was set up in a two-story Burger King, which also served as a temporary feeding station. At times it also seemed like a bazaar as loads of donated clothing, including an incongruous bag full of velvet tops with spaghetti straps, were distributed by volunteers to the rain-soaked workers."'