The Lexicographer's Rules

"I am from one of South Africa's most violent communitiesÑI believed if I could survive there, London wouldn't be that bad. But it is much worse than you could ever imagine."

—This Is London. Teachers imported from abroad to fill open positions in British schools are taken aback by the "foulmouthed, undisciplined chaos" in the schools. The teachers said Britain is "getting the children it deserves."'

"South of Mamonovo, a miles-long line of motor vehicles stretches down to the Polish border. Many drivers arrive the previous evening and spend the night in their car, in order to get past the frontier as early as possible after the frontier checkpoint opens in the morning. Those who are in a particular hurry can acquire a spot further forward in the line by paying off the 'baldies,' a sobriquet for the local mafia. Andrei, a young Russian from Kaliningrad, willingly relates why he and most of the others in line drive to Poland and back several times each week. He has 50 cartons of cigarettes and 70 liters of gasoline stashed somewhere in his VW, and just on the other side of the border he can get rid of his wares at a handsome profit. On a normal day, he says, he earns 50 'baksy' (Russian slang for dollars), a considerable sum by local standards."

—Neue ZŸrcher Zeitung. The Russian region of Kaliningrad, formerly the German Kšnigsberg until after World War II, is squeezed between a tight bit of history, the reality of modern economics and the prospect of being a Russian exclave of land completely surrounded by European Union nations.'

"My Cape Town is younger and more vital, a teenager: beautiful, caring, dreamy, craving attention, frequently drugged or drunk, liable to be raped, stabbed, shot, cavalier towards HIV and tuberculosis, often angry, given to bombs, fires, and in-your-face racism. My city is emerging from a difficult childhood with hard-nosed characteristics but no sense of identity."

—South Africa Mail and Guardian. Cape Town is a city in transition, one that Mike Nicol says lacks a unifying myth. "Cape Town appears to be a nowhere city, neither part of Africa nor part of Europe."'

"He was a good boy. He kept to himself."

—Turkish Daily News. Even in Swaziland, site of the locally unusual arrest of a serial killer and the discovery of 45 bodies, they've got a clichŽ ready for the newspapers.'

"Another strange medical incident was registered in the territory of the Ulyanovsk region. This illness is rare and there is not much research there. In the beginning there is a knob on the body of a human being. The knob starts moving under the skin afterwards. The parasite Dirofilaria repens, 'a terrible crawling thread,' can live in the human body for months moving under the skin. Pravda.ru informed earlier about a woman from Ulyanovsk who had a strange swelling on her forehead. There was a thread-thick worm found inside, seven centimeters long. The worm was living in the body of the woman for almost a year."

—Pravda. We all saw that movie, but what about the cholera and the anthrax? '