The Lexicographer's Rules

"The policeÑpossibly encouraged by political forces, but just as possibly on some misguided whimÑdecided to launch an attack on Tivoli Gardens, a well-known ghetto that harbours many armed criminals. The raid went wrong, mainly because the opposition was so much better armed and motivated than the police believed. The police panicked and, unable to arrest the perpetrators, started shooting indiscriminately at innocent inhabitants of the Tivoli Gardens area. 'The police trouble an anthill,' said Tivoli resident Popcorn, 'and everybody know what 'appen when ya disturb an anthill.'"

—Scotland on Sunday. Guy Kennaway writes that Jamaica's current gun battles are part of the nation's tradition of settling disputes. "It's hardly surprising that a nation which features an armed rebel on their banknotesÑPaul Bogle, who led an uprising against slaveryÑdoesn't see violence the same way as mature European democracies. The law was used for hundreds of years to enslave Jamaicans, so respect for it doesn't come easily, and a desire to get hold of the slave owners' most potent symbol of powerÑthe gunÑis perfectly understandable. The people have had the vote since 1943, but it's not what they use if they want change. They use the altogether more fundamental Jamaican political instrument: brute force. Most commonly it is manifest in the roadblock: communities will erect barricades across a road and burn tyres to demand a new teacher in their primary school, or the resurfacing of a country road."'

"There are places I dare not go because they have extradition treaties with places like Libya."

—Newsday. Oliver North is wanted in some countries for his participation in the revenge bombing of Libya conducted by the US government, a small part of a new trend in European politics: requesting the testimony of foreign leaders for human rights trials, or worse, putting the foreign leaders themselves on trial. The leaders usually respond by making themselves quickly unavailable.'

"I go into my competitors' offices and there are editors who have offices larger than my entire editorial bullpens. It's ridiculous! These people are ridiculous! It's absolutely insane! What do they think they're doing? Magazines are ephemera. They're ephemera. They're not important in people's lives. They're nice. They're amusing. The way these magazine editors go on, you'd think they were important or something. It's ridiculous! People read magazines for a bit of entertainment and a small amount of information. Who the bloody hell do they think they are, carrying on? The Magazine Publishers of America, sitting around giving each other prizes! What pathetic, pathetic little asses!"

—Washington Post. Felix Dennis, publisher of men's magazine Maxim, goes off the deep end.'

"I was behaving like a cross between a deranged sex maniac and a highly over-excited teenager. For the first time in my life I understood what it was to have a libido. I formed many attachments to women and made a nuisance of myself with them. I was oblivious to the fact these attachments were usually not reciprocated." "

—The Sun. Richard Davis, 53, took pills of bromocriptine and also participated in clinical trials of an experimental drug known as CV205-502. He claims it raised is his sexual drive to unreasonable levels and caused his outrageous behavior and eventual bankruptcy.'

"In the New World, Heidi is remembered as a sweet, coquettish cross between Bambi and Barbie, a Black Forest maiden and a society Tirolean. This is harmless retouching compared with the countless 'sequels' in which she appeared as Peter's wife, later also as a detective, ski instructor, ghost hunter or porn star. What William Tell is to Swiss men, Heidi is to girlsÑan earthy, national heroine whose cheeks shine redder than the blood of enemies and the alpenglow. She makes love, not war, and that is why she is adopted wherever she goes."

—Frankfurter Allgemeine Zeitung. The Heidi exhibition at the Strauhof Museum in Zurich is part of the "heidi 01" project commemorating author Johanna Spyri's death 100 years ago.'