The Lexicographer's Rules

"One time my friend... he goes, 'Listen, one of these days you're going to find Venus and Serena Williams in Playboy.' I said, 'You got a better shot at National Geographic.'"

—New York Post. Sports reporter Sid Rosenberg was fired from Don Imus' morning show on WFAN 660 AM for his insensitive comments. Imus' immediate on-air response: "You're a moron! You're a degenerate!"'

"I FEEL pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and gay. And I pity any girl who isn't me today. Gosh, it's a wonderful time to be a brave, bold, independent-thinking, straight-talking, let-the-chips-fall-where-they-may, profile-in-courage, Mr.-Last-Honest-Man-Goes-to-Washington, presidential-timber, maverick United States senator."

—New York Post. Michael Kelly claims Senator Jim Jeffords' defection is remaking him in the mold of Senator John McCain, the former lone maverick in the 100-person house.'

"Do you know why they call me Hitler? It is because I am the biggest terrorist in Zimbabwe. I am the most dangerous man in this country. And you must do what I tell you."

—Guardian. Chenjerai "Hitler" Hunzvi of Zimbabwe, embezzler, promoter of violence, supporter of the corrupt regime of President Robert Mugabe, and supposed leader of "war veterans" who may or may not have fought for the nation's liberation, is dead of complications from AIDS.'

"'Hillary thinks that Tipper is a... nice lady who doesn't have a brain in her head' while 'Tipper thinks Hillary's an ambitious, rather uncoordinated, grasping, difficult woman.'"

—New York Post. Whether it's the wives or Naomi Wolfe, either way, the Bill Clinton-Al Gore relationship has soured. A new article in Vanity Fair discusses it. The magazine's public relations machine is in high gear: why the Scotsman cares, I dunno.'

"The current violent challenge to both Jews and Christians is in accordance with an evolving and fanatically accelerating Palestinian fabrication: that the Temple never existed, that it is a Jewish invention for local political gain, that the Jewish attachment to Jerusalem is historically and religiously nil. At Camp David last July, it was Yasser Arafat himself who boggled his interlocutors by this preposterous assertion, which is increasingly promulgated by influential Palestinians, whether lay or clerical."

—Jerusalem Post. Writer Cynthia Ozick of New Rochelle, New York, was awarded the "Guardian of Zion" prize in Jerusalem last week for her unstinting defense of Israel. " Holocaust denial to one degree or another is rampant in all Arab societies; it is augmented now by Judaism denial. So far, no mainstream Christian voices have been raised against these moral and historical depredations, and one wonders why. Why has there been no Christian protest over Muslim rioting when a Jew walks upon a historic Jewish site?"'