The Lexicographer's Rules

"The Americans are afraid of sustaining even one casualty to their soldiers, they don't trust their own intelligence or weak Arab allies to protect them, and they have no military answer for our threat. I love America. The Bush people want to spend $100 billion on a missile defense shield to deal with a threat that doesn't yet exist, and they run away from the threat that already exists."

—Khilafah. A discussion of missiles and deterrents. "Remember when four Russian diplomats were kidnapped in Beirut in 1985? The Russians kidnapped a member of the kidnappers' group, chopped off one of his body parts and sent it back in the mail. Presto! The Russians were released. This isn't Norway out here."'

"Seattle would rather make nice than actually be nice. People only find it necessary to pass laws like these when they fear that they lack the moral gumption to do right on their own account."

—Christian Science Monitor. Seattle, the City of Nice, where nice is becoming mandated by law, enforced by criticism, and proving to be the vestigal result of a failure to deal with real problems. "Brian Haughton, a 28-year resident originally from Jamaica, tells of an occasion when he accidentally set a tablecloth on fire. 'Everybody in the restaurant looked the other way. They thought it was impolite to watch.'"'

"They are, as a corporate entity, morally impoverished."

—Sydney Morning Herald. Oil firm Esso was found guilty of 11 criminal charges related to the explosion of its gas plant in Longford, Victoria, in Australia, which killed two people and injured eight others. Jim Ward, a control panel operator, was awarded a medal of bravery. "In the wake of the fireball that killed and maimed his mates, he activated the shutdown system and made the phone calls to trigger emergency procedures and get ambulances and fire trucks."'

"Just the mention of DNA fosters doubts because people sincerely believe that our prisons are stuffed with innocent men, despite staggering evidence to the contrary."

—Creative Loafing. Tina Trent writes that attempts to free Carlton Gary, convicted of raping and strangling seven elderly women, are mis-guided and contradictory to all the convincing evidence of his guilt. "In more than 10 years, the Innocence Project has freed a few dozen men from among millions convicted of crimes. And, while many of those freed are victims of injustice, at least one is back in prison already for committing another rape, and several are undisputedly guilty of other serious crimes. These are the very strongest cases the Innocence Project could come up with; some are tragic misidentifications, but others have more to do with minor trial errors than the 'actual innocence' of the defendants."'

"I am uncoiled and lax, an empty vessel, critically appraising advertisements, making mix tapes, playing an unplugged Korean-made Telecaster, honking at the kids playing basketball in the cul-de-sac, digging cat toys out from under the bureau, going commando, making ice, buying Scotch tape, skimming, shaving, squeezing. I am an American, Senator, no longer waiting for the small red light but instead waiting for your call to action."

—Fireland. Joshua Allen lives in Portland, Maine.'