The Lexicographer's Rules

"We all need to take a deep breath and think about being a Bush daughter and having that cross to bear. I'd go out and have a couple of drinks, too."

—Washington Post. Julia Roberts, speaking to Time magazine.'

"Q. Mayor, do you think your comments hurt Toronto's Olympic bid? A. I am truly sorry, and I'm going to say it again, I'm sorry that my comments were inappropriate. And I want to apologize to everyone for my remarks, particularly anyone who was offended by them. Q. Is sorry enough? Should you resign at this point? A. I am sorry I made the remarks. Q. But is sorry enough? A. I am sorry I made the remarks. Q. What damage do you think you did to the Olympic bid? A. I'm sorry I made the remarks. My comments are inappropriate. Q. That's not what I asked. A. That's my answer."

—Globe and Mail. Toronto Mayor Mel Lastman apologizes for comments made on the eve of a trip to Kenya to promote Toronto's bid for the 2008 Olympics: "What the hell do I want to go to a place like Mombasa? Snakes just scare the hell out of me. I'm sort of scared about going there, but the wife is really nervous. I just see myself in a pot of boiling water with all these natives dancing around me."'

"What is it about a word like 's - - -,' which really is commonly used, that makes people think it is offensive?"

—New York Post. Moral high-grounders, dim bulbs and creeping hypocrites are attacking the use of the word "shit" 163 times in an episode of South Park, missing the point.'

"Loads of people here are on Charlie. It's part of the fun of coming to Ascot."

—This is London The Royal Ascot, the famed horse racing event attended by a good deal of British Royalty, is marked by drug use, including cocaine ingestion just yards from where the Queen entertains guests.'

"A good number of Iraqi women continue to go to the shops without knowing why and without needing to, while women in other Arab countries and the rest of the world only go when their family is lacking something."

—Telegraph. Saddam Hussein, currently directing the construction of lavish palaces all over Iraq, tries to encourage cost-cutting behavior in order to ease the burdens of 11 years of international trade sanctions. "Women must lend their support to men instead of being a burden by their excessive demands. The current situation in Iraq is difficult because of the embargo. Women must help men."'