The Lexicographer's Rules

"I would have a big, big farm. Then we have no worries about money. If you have the cows, you have the money."

—San Francisco Chronicle. Former National Basketball Association star Manute Bol is back in his native Sudan, separated from one wife and their kids, rheumatic, no longer rich and pinched by national politics. He dreams of returning to his native village in rebel-held terrority after the civil war ends. "Much of his earnings went to his 'family'Ña loose concept in polygamous Sudanese society that can stretch to thousands of relatives."'

"The people who have six underlings flag a call before they decide to take it are often the same people who think nothing of picking up their phone and dropping a dime on a former friend, agent, manager, whatever."

—National Post. Former New York Post gossip columnist A.J. Benza is out touting his new book about his time ratting on celebrities. "Arsenio told me that he had the whole world in his Rolodex... and the day that he lost his talk show, nobody called. Nobody."'

"The festivities actually begin a couple of months before the ceremony. First there are 'senior portraits'Ñpictures taken in 'casual' and 'formal' attireÑwhich will forever adorn the mantelpiece in your parent's house. And then there's all the graduation-related paraphernalia to buy - key rings, earrings, picture frames, mugs, T-shirtsÑall saying things such as 'Class of '94'. There are dances to go to, and invitations to send. And, best of all, loads of presents to receive. Eventually the big day arrives. Because you have to be there before your parents, everyone sneaks a quick smoke or a swift swig from a bottle of Jack Daniels in the car park beforehand. Just before you're due to go into the auditorium you throw on your white robe and make sure your mortarboard is firmly fastened to you head, lest it fall off as you're walking across the stage."

—Guardian. There's some talk in Britain about adopting American-style secondary school graduation ceremonies. Cheesy, schmaltzy, yes. But who wears white robes?'

"Like most American congressmen, he had a slight air of the untouchableÑa result of the constant sheltering from real life which comes with elected office. He also had a professional, if mechanical, charmÑall teeth and firm handshakesÑwhich came and went as required."

—Guardian. A former (British) intern for Congressman Gary Condit describes the man.'

"The other thing that's happened since the '60s: We've invented new noises. Go back to 1960, and you won't find yourself any Jet Skis, you won't find yourself any leaf blowers. I don't think you'll find any car alarms, and I guarantee you won't find any boomboxes. You certainly wouldn't find cars that honk when you remote-control lock them. You wouldn't find cellphones in public places. You wouldn't find pagers. The noise levels at movie theaters were a lot quieter because the amplification systems were not as good. People weren't wearing Walkmen everywhere. There's really good evidence that we're doing noisier things, that we're inventing noisier things and that the world is getting louder."

—Sacramento Bee. With our noise, we are creating a muted culture. The results are mumbling, shouting, frustration and misunderstanding.'