The Lexicographer's Rules

I fear the stupidity of my fellow New Yorkers more than I fear a dirty bomb, another plane rammed into a building, or anything like that.

More than half of the survey’s respondents (53 percent) said that if they had to flee New York after a disaster, they would drive or take taxis. The report noted, however, that streets would likely be choked with traffic. Fifteen percent said they would ignore any orders to evacuate.

Not in the report:

—When their food and water supplies run low, 38% will order more from Fresh Direct. 18% will call the corner Chinese joint for more General Tsao’s chicken.

—If electricity fails, 32% will run an extension cord from a neighbor’s house. 62% will check the NYC government web site for government announcements about power restoration.

—If they run out of money, 43% will keep trying ATMs until they find one that works. 7% will steal extra cash from the drug dealers down the street. 19% are stockpiling cartons of cigarettes to use as currency.

I have enough canned goods, dry food, and water to last me a week. If the Warriors can make it from the Bronx to Coney Island overnight while pursued by gangs of angry New Yorkers, I figure a week is plenty of time for me get out of New York City and deep into Pennsylvania.

A slang word is on its last legs, gasping for air when someone over the age of 35 seriously uses it in a sentence, then does a little smirk after they say it like, “Hey, look at me, I just said a word the kids use, aren’t I cute?”

It’s the end of my career: I’m 35! But I never smirk…

(Source Link)

“I won’t let my children watch,” Stepanov said, pointing to her toddler son, facing the opposite way in the back seat of her car. ‘‘It is horrible. It’s like Hitler.” (via Maud Newton.) (Source Link)

Fascinating article on the market for human hair, until it turns wishy-washy—the reporter was on the hunt for a hot scoop, found shrugs instead, but tacked on the dead leads anyway. (Source Link)

Here’s a statement with which I almost completely disagree. It’s from a footnote on the first page of John Lancaster Riordan’s article “American Naval ‘Slanguage’ in the Pacific in 1945,” from California Folklore Quarterly, Oct. 1946, vol. 5, no. 4, p. 375.

The employment of unprintable language represents an attempt to be manly—"one of the boys.” It indicates indolence of thought and an egregious lack of originality. Moreover, it is generally characterized by dreary repetitions and references to the bodily functions which are completely foreign to the subject concerned.

Was there ever a clearer statement that someone should not be in the business of recording or writing about slang? The witless word “slanguage” in the title is the first tip-off, though. I don’t care which dictionaries include it as an entry, it’s permanently on my list of loathed words—and it is a marker for indolent thought itself.