The Lexicographer's Rules

In researching today’s entry for hit-and-run bag, I cited a 1971 article from the Charleston Gazette that also told an more interesting story about legendary baseball pitcher Satchel Paige. It was not directly related to the cite and was too long to include in the entry, so I offer it to you here.

There’s the story Joe Ryan used to tell about Satch and the miseries he experienced each time he and the Miami Marlins would go into Canada to play.

The customs officials always wanted Paige to open up the little “hit-and-run” bag he carried for his shaving gear and other small articles. This irritated him to no end.

Satch finally decided to put an end to opening this bag time and time again, as if he was a smuggler.

So he purchased a can of aerosol shaving lather, which he knew would explode in the unpressurized cabin of the old airplane they used in those days. And, of course, it did explode—all over the place…

“When that custom official got nosey again and asked Satch to open the bag, he just handed it to him and told him to open it himself,” Ryan recalled. “And when he ripped the zipper open, all that gooey lather squirted out in his face and I thought Satch would die laughing.”

He was never bothered again.

“All the woes, crises, skirmishes and problems bedeviling this great country since pre-independent period, could be traceable to the fact that Nigeria was named by a woman. Woman, your name is ‘Woe to man.’ These woes include political violence, religious conflicts, social upheavals, educational crises and economic strangulation, among others.” (Source Link)

“Then, in May, there was a repeat of an attack that had occurred more than a year before, when a stranger had approached Mr. Anderson, slammed his face into the side of a building and cursed him, saying, ‘You killed the Matador.’ That was the name of the bar he had replaced with Oswald’s.” (Source Link)

“It’s not quite unplugged (he has tiny microphones taped to his feet), but unlike most Irish shows, there are no pre-recorded taps. Every rapid-fire volley of sound coming from those magical feet is live.”

“After seeing him on TV, Kane, who has appeared in several films himself as a non-speaking extra, drinks a quart of peppermint schnapps, beats his wife with cat furniture, and jumps out a third story window, shattering his kneecaps and elbow.”