The Lexicographer's Rules

Here are two examples of how idiots feel empowered when national leaders use subtle and not-so-subtle demagoguery in the discussions of immigration and language.

Some jackass doesn’t like it that there is a Spanish-language interface on self-serve registers at Home Depot. He feels comfortable enough in his imbecility to broadcast it on the radio. I suspect the story has lost something in its appearance on the web, especially given the stilted cop-like language —"The caller proceeded to the employee overseeing the self-service operation and informed her of the register’s status"—but the gist seems to be there.

Another jackass doesn’t like getting Spanish-language advertisements in the mail. She feels comfortable enough in her imbecility to have it printed in a newspaper.

I’m bothered most by the conflation of questions of race, nationality, citizenship, immigration, and language, which results in the ridiculous notion that if you speak a language other than English, you must not be American.

But I’m also bothered that anyone believes they have a right to English-language everything, everywhere. It’s one thing if a ballot is in a foreign language, it’s quite another when a commercial enterprise has recognized what the thickheads have not, that this is and always has been a multilingual, multiracial, multiethnic country. Always.

The Guardian did a review of my Oxford Dictionary of American Political Slang that has just been released in the U.K. It’s generally a great review—Simon Hoggart calls it a “great read”—but I agree with what Ben Zimmer had to say: Who told Hoggart that “clean one’s clock” and “it ain’t over till the fat lady sings” are any kind of politcal slang? There’s nothing particularly political about them, though of course they can be used in a political circumstance.

This article from the New York Times about Netflix seems like an obvious ripoff of the famous Chris Anderson “Long Tail” article in Wired from October 2004. How could David Leonhardt write an article like that and not mention the concept of “long tail” at all?

It’s exceedingly strange to me that none of the Newsday blogs link to any other Newsday blogs, as far as I can see. Those blogs should behave like a blog network, with headlines, links, and cross-promos appearing on every page.

I fear the stupidity of my fellow New Yorkers more than I fear a dirty bomb, another plane rammed into a building, or anything like that.

More than half of the survey’s respondents (53 percent) said that if they had to flee New York after a disaster, they would drive or take taxis. The report noted, however, that streets would likely be choked with traffic. Fifteen percent said they would ignore any orders to evacuate.

Not in the report:

—When their food and water supplies run low, 38% will order more from Fresh Direct. 18% will call the corner Chinese joint for more General Tsao’s chicken.

—If electricity fails, 32% will run an extension cord from a neighbor’s house. 62% will check the NYC government web site for government announcements about power restoration.

—If they run out of money, 43% will keep trying ATMs until they find one that works. 7% will steal extra cash from the drug dealers down the street. 19% are stockpiling cartons of cigarettes to use as currency.

I have enough canned goods, dry food, and water to last me a week. If the Warriors can make it from the Bronx to Coney Island overnight while pursued by gangs of angry New Yorkers, I figure a week is plenty of time for me get out of New York City and deep into Pennsylvania.